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Written by Dr. Sidney Langston |
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Surprisingly little attention has been paid to males who were molested as children. Unfortunately, this is not due to an absence of male victims. Research demonstrates that one in three girls and one in seven boys are sexually abused in childhood. Because it has been under-reported, the incidence of sexual abuse in males is thought to be as high as one in four. In general, our society encourages the disclosure of female sexual abuse, but not the disclosure of male sexual abuse. Because of this dearth of information on male sexual abuse, the long-term impact of such victimization is largely unknown. Nor is there much data on potential differences of the effects of abuse in males and females. However, more research on this topic is beginning to appear in the literature. Abuse typically starts for males around six to nine years of age. Research has also demonstrated incest accounts for 50% of male abuse cases. Incest is any contact or interaction (visual, verbal or psychological) between a child/adolescent and a parent or other family member when the child/adolescent is being used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or any other person. Incest includes a variety of behaviors such as: staring at body parts; touching genitalia during rough play; gently rubbing the genital area; sodomy or telling sexually stimulating jokes/stories. In any inappropriate sexual encounter, the perpetrator absolutely bears the whole responsibility. If you are a victim, do not let anyone ever convince you that you are in any way responsible. Research is beginning to demonstrate that childhood sexual abuse is extremely traumatic for males. If there is little affection between father and son, sexual abuse may appear to fill the son's natural, healthy needs for fatherly touching. Early sexual experiences are more likely to produce confusion and fear. Emotional development is stunted at the age the abuse occurs, although growth in other areas of their lives continues. When abuse occurs between the age of two and six, it can interfere with gender development. Young male children who are victims of abuse do not have the opportunity to understand what constitutes a healthy expression of their sexuality. Violation can cause a boy to completely distrust men and question, or even reject, his maleness. He may wonder if other boys view him as a sex object. Or he may see sexual contact as a way to get attention from men that he has always wanted, but has not obtained in a healthy way. Adult males who were sexually abused as children demonstrated high levels of anxiety, depression, anger, sleep disturbances, dissociation and post-sexual-abuse trauma. These men often become addicted to substances, become sexual addicts, engage in homosexual and bisexual behavior, and attempt suicide—often accomplishing it. According to Rev. Howard Milton, who has counseled extensively in this area, “the male incest survivor will restructure his world in order to make sense of it and to make sure he will survive as intact as possible.” These survival tactics may help victims survive a very difficult, crazy and extremely painful trauma, but there can be problems if they continue to practice them into adulthood. These behaviors will only get them into trouble. The most common survival tactics are:
Each of these survival tactics is built upon a lie. Victims will never be free until they face the reality of their abuse and grieve their loses. Healing and recovery are possible for those who are willing to embrace the pain and journey to wholeness.
_________ Male Incest Survivors. Day one newsletter. Allentown, PA. Copyright 1993 ,El Rophe Center, Inc. |
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