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We’ve all heard of Type A personalities, but what exactly does the term mean? Type A people are excessively competitive, achievement oriented and compulsively drawn to challenges. They have a chronic sense of time urgency, move, walk and eat rapidly and are impatient with the rate at which things take place. They schedule more and more in less and less time and often think about or do two things at once.
Type A personalities feel guilty when they are relaxing and tend to miss the more important, interesting and lovely things encountered in day-to-day life. Their self worth is based on maintaining a high level of productivity. Although they are easily frustrated in their work, they have few sources of gratification outside of the job, and they are generally hyper-reactive to emotional stimuli. In addition, they are object and thing centered rather than people and relationship centered. They want to possess more and more things, especially prestigious, showy things that they believe will make them special.
Because they need to feel powerful, controlling and important around others, they volunteer for all kinds of activities which put them in the public eye. They focus so much on their own accomplishments that they are easily angered and become hostile when things don’t go their way. Because they are so driven, they will make a lot of money and achieve a great deal in life.
If you find yourself in the description of a Type A personality, what can you do to help yourself relax?
- First, recognize that your worth is not dependent on how well you perform, or how much you accomplish. You need to redefine what it means to be a human being, to understand the importance of loving and being loved. This is a fundamental philosophical and spiritual shift that cannot be accomplished overnight. You may need help to get past thinking that you are only as good as what you do. This is a process that will take time.
- One primary reason a person develops a Type A personality is insecurity. Research indicates that this insecurity leads to a lot of anger which tends to flavor day-to-day interactions. Therefore, examine what makes you angry and how you talk to yourself (self-talk) when you are angry.
- Explore your expectations in life. If you are disappointed in the course your life is taking, is it because your self-talk makes it hard for you to accept what is, and move ahead?
- Rethink and process the issues of not getting your own way, life being unfair and people not being perfect. It is a myth that when you are hostile with others you make them pay for your dissatisfaction. In actuality, you pay the price for that kind of alienating behavior. You need to decide whether or not you really want to go through life that way and whether the cost is worth it to you.
- It is essential to rethink your pattern of reacting, and come to grips with life and yourself at a deeper level than you ever have before. The result will be changed behavior and improved interpersonal relationships. Also, give yourself permission to put more fun into your life and allow yourself to laugh more.
- If you have a Type A personality you will need more exercise because you are more prone to cardiovascular problems. It is important to watch your diet, give up cigarettes if you smoke, and get adequate rest. These measures could make a significant difference in your life span.
- Discover the source of that pressuring voice within that demands more and more. Is it a voice from the past, a voice that has no place in the present, or is it self-talk that needs to be challenged and changed? Determine if there are painful issues with parents and/or others that need to be resolved.
- It is critical that you learn to relax. This is best accomplished gradually by starting to incorporate a small block of time for fun, relaxation and rest into your daily routine. It will not be natural at first, but with practice it will become more familiar and profitable.
- Because as a Type A person you are probably out of touch with your feelings, you need to look at who you are, and where you are going. Ask yourself, “Who am I in relationship to my wife, children, etc? What kind of impact am I having on these significant people in my life? Am I trying to ‘buy off’ my family rather than listening to them, spending time with them, and loving them as people?” Investing yourself in family and relationships rather than in performance has the potential to bring rich rewards into your life. Consider whether you married a Type B person because you needed someone to help you slow down.
If you’ll begin to consistently pace yourself and focus on being, rather than doing, your life will become richer and more rewarding.
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Engston, Ted. W. and Jurol, David J. (1979). For the workaholic I love. Old Tappan, NJ: Fleming H. Revell Company.
Friedman, Myer and Roseman, Ray H. (1974). Type A behavior and your heart. Greenville, CT: Fawcett World Library.
Copyright 1994, El Rophe Center, Inc.
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