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Sexual Abuse of Males continued

Violation can cause a boy to completely distrust men and question, or even reject, his maleness. He may wonder if other boys view him as a sex object. Or he may see sexual contact as a way to get attention from men that he has always wanted, but has not obtained in a healthy way.

 

Adult males who were sexually abused as children demonstrated high levels of anxiety, depression, anger, sleep disturbances, dissociation and post-sexual-abuse trauma. These men often become addicted to substances, become sexual addicts, engage in homosexual and bisexual behavior, and attempt suicide—often accomplishing it.

 

According to Rev. Howard Milton, who has counseled extensively in this area, “the male incest survivor will restructure his world in order to make sense of it and to make sure he will survive as intact as possible.”  These survival tactics may help victims survive a very difficult, crazy and extremely painful trauma, but there can be problems if they continue to practice them into adulthood. These behaviors will only get them into trouble.

The most common survival tactics are:

 

•Minimizing – (a form of denial) telling oneself that what happened is no big deal;

•Denial – burying the memory and refusing to acknowledge the reality of it;

•Blocking/dissociation – placing the memory deep within the subconscious mind where it can't be reached or developing Multiple Personality Disorder (now designated as Dissociative Identity Disorder: DID). The development of DID is more common in females, but it does occur in males as well;

•Rationalization – excusing and finding reasons for the perpetrator’s behavior. For example, “Daddy was drunk and didn't know what he was doing”; and

•Division– dividing the offender into a “good daddy” and a “bad daddy,” then denying the bad daddy and personally taking responsibility for the abusive behaviors.

Each of these survival tactics is built upon a lie. Victims will never be free until they face the reality of their abuse and grieve their loses. Healing and recovery are possible for those who are willing to embrace the pain and journey to wholeness.

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Root Causes of Homosexuality. Love in action newsletter. San Rafael, CA

Male Incest Survivors. Day one newsletter. Allentown, PA.

Copyright 1993 ,El Rophe Center, Inc.

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